I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression from the age of 12 so I can definitely relate to all or most of these scenarios, or at least thought-wise. If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicide or depression, please seek help immediately. You are not alone.
I want you to know that suicidal thoughts, depression, and all of these negative emotions are spirits. These spirits are out to destroy you, don’t let them. The Bible says that “God did not give us the spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.” The devil is after your mind, don’t let him have it.
from within, they must heal.
Memories are all that’s left
of their lives cut short.
Their light bulbs are irreplaceable.
In our hearts, they remain forever.
Lonely and Alone
You feel abandoned in this bustling world.
You don’t know what to do
or who to trust
so you keep all your struggles locked in
until one day you buckle
and it’s too late to save you.
You were a muffled cry for help.
The Daring Voices
There’s a daring voice within
telling you what to do
whether valid or invalid,
the killer voice will win.
It is out of your control
once the medication has lost its way
from your bloodstream.
Bullied To The Grave
Everything is “normal” at first sight.
You could be the humblest person around
or even the most stylish girl or boy;
anyone can become a victim.
For no understandable reason,
one day, your life got turned upside down
by someone who is fighting
his or her demonic battles,
their demons have nothing to do with you,
but you are affected.
You are living in a nightmare,
day in and day out,
you try to find an escape route
from the ruthless words and jokes,
mean looks, and harsh laughs
of those who are not in your shoes.
You cope and deal with it the safest way you can
but the discomfort and scars
of the taunting and teasing bleeds your life support.
You do and think things that never crossed your mind before;
you are always in a foul mood,
discouraged and stressed.
You grieve alone
in the confines of your room
wishing you could tell a parent or a friend
but for you, it probably wouldn’t matter at this point
because you are at the end of your rope, anyway.
You have been a bullying victim for months,
Inside and outside of school.
Even on the social networks,
there is no breath of fresh air for you;
there is no boundary to the madness.
None. At least not yet.
Everything is in perspective now,
the pain you feel won’t ease up
until you are out of the picture.
Depressed and Dying
You don’t know how to talk about it
so you suffer alone in the darkness,
trying to find a way out
of your lonesome self.
Your days fill up with tears
and that guilty trip of feeling sorry
for yourself, becomes your best friend.
You are always feeling down and discouraged,
incompetent and worthless.
Some feelings come and go
but others never leave,
haunting and taunting you day and night.
Sometimes you find yourself over-sleeping
and can’t seem to get out of bed
or sometimes you roam the house at night
searching for that peace of mind
you can never seem to find.
Everything appears wrong in your life;
you are having the most challenging time concentrating
on simple tasks, remembering things,
or even making small decisions.
You don’t know what to do,
This thing has overpowered you.
There is only one thing left to do,
and since you are too afraid
or too ashamed to seek help,
you can only think of one way to go.
Suicide has become an obsession.
No one cares,
“not even you.”
Suicidal In Every Sense
Maybe you are not depressed,
or some other tragic case.
Maybe you had a terrible argument with someone
a parent, friend, boyfriend or girlfriend
and it terrifyingly hit a nerve
that you over-processed.
It wasn’t intentional,
you just didn’t know how to cope
With the emotions that came forth.
You were hurting in a way you’ve never experienced
but instead of talking about it,
You became enraged and started slashing your wrist
or causing other bodily harm (destructive madness).
Maybe you thought to swallow a bunch of pills
would be sufficient
to send the message you wanted to deliver
But you never woke up to tell
Suicide Is Real
It’s more common than what gets publicized,
more common now than before.
Many people think it’s the way to go.
A popular trend among children and teens.
Though adults are leaping on the bandwagon too.
Suicide is a sacred subject.
No one wants to talk about it
but at this very instance
your brother, sister, aunt, uncle,
cousin, friend, best friend,
boyfriend, girlfriend, son or daughter
even father, mother,
grandfather or grandmother,
the people you’d least expect to end up in a grave
could contemplate self-destruction
or experience a past attempt.
The fact is that
SUICIDE IS REAL.
It may never hit home for you
but every couple of minutes
someone ventures to the edge to end his or her own life
by hanging, overdosing,
firing a single gunshot to the head, etc
somewhere around the world
someone will die by his or her
own trembling hands.
Anorexic To Death
She is skinny as a toothpick
but she feels as fat as a pig.
In her eyes, she looks like a bus
but in reality, you can count
every bone in her body.
She does not love herself;
she hates looking in the mirror.
She eats a ton of food each day
but throws it all up.
She is preoccupied with being thin.
She is captivated with the models in the magazines.
The Carved Scars
Last night, he felt like an outcast.
He felt more alone than ever before.
So he went to the bathroom and locked the door,
Slid to the floor
and there he cried.
He felt sad and empty.
In that bathroom was where he found his release.
He took out his pocket knife
and slashed all the pain away.
At that moment, he felt unbelievably alive
though he was on the doorstep of death.
They Don’t Know
She is tired of everyone asking her
if she is “okay.” but they don’t know
the depth of her pain. She is tired of lying.
She is tired of pretending she’s all right
when every pore in her body
and the kids at school tell her she’s better off dead.
Summoning the Courage
In his mind, he’s already lifeless.
He’s hung himself,
slit his wrist,
and blew off his head
a hundred times and counting.
He’s not afraid to die.
Any day now,
he will finally have the courage
to end his own dreadful life.
Overdosed In Bed
On his bedside
lies his depression pills
and other tablets to help him cope
with his dreary outlook on life.
And beside them rest plenty of liquor to drink.
Tonight, he can no longer cope.
He can no longer run from his calling.
He’s already crying; he’s mourning his death.
He thinks of his family; he thinks of his friends.
And he wishes he could stay,
but he cannot go on, not a second more.
Suddenly, he empties the bottles of pills
and opens up each bottle of liquor.
He takes one last gulp of breath
and handful by handful,
he downs them with alcohol.
Lying on his back, he closes his eyes
and waits for his last rest to come.
He is finally happy.
The story on the news says,
“girl jumps off a local bridge.”
A mother and father grieve her loss.
Her friends knew it was coming;
they watched her get bullied at school.
Some laughed when they called her names:
“Slut,” “whore,” “dirty girl,” “skank,”
and the list is a mile long continues.
Some friends turned their backs on her
because they didn’t want to be the next victim.
They raped her.
They beat her.
They teased her daily.
They shoved her to the ground.
They pushed her around.
She had cut herself enough.
She hated herself.
She did not feel loved by anyone.
She felt ugly.
She felt sad and lonely.
She felt insecure.
She’d had enough.
On her way home from school one day,
she stood on the bridge and jumped.
That girl was only 13 years old.
He was on a suicide mission
the moment his feet touched
the war zone of World War II,
by his side were the men
he proudly called his brothers.
One by one they died off,
he could not cope, each breath
paralyzed his hope, and he knew
his number was about to get called
so he gathered his thoughts,
prepared himself for the worst
and pulled the trigger.
She stepped on her bed,
walking to the edge slowly,
savoring the few steps it took.
She stood at the edge for a minute
then cocked her head,
finding a comfortable place to rest
before she tightened the knot.
Her family laughed downstairs,
a celebration for her birthday was still going on.
The Perfect Suicide Note
She’s not perfect.
No one is.
Yet, everyone always finds something wrong with her.
She’ll never be good enough for anyone.
She’s better off alone.
Everything she touches, she breaks.
Everyone around her gets messed up.
Everyone is better off without her; she strongly thinks.
Her kids are the way they are because of her.
Imperfect as the next human being,
though, she wishes they were perfect
like every man truly hopes to one day come to fruition.
Her family never loved nor appreciated her.
Friends take advantage of her.
The man she wants to spend the rest of her life with
ignores her for months at a time.
She feels messed up, anyway.
She calls herself an awful mother and an immoral person.
Suffers from depression
Quiet to a fault.
Everyday anxiety attacks.
She’s a glitch.
and that’s not the end
She needs more help than she cares to admit.
She can’t carry conversations like a normal human being.
She gets scared easily.
She cries easily.
She’s easily offended.
She’s everything she doesn’t want to be.
She admires those who are the opposite of herself.
She wishes she was friendly and outspoken.
She wishes she was skinny and could look good in anything.
She wants to be anyone but herself.
She doesn’t know what happiness is.
She doesn’t know herself.
She has tried to love herself
but she doesn’t know if she ever truly did
Yet she claims to love others.
She’s a fake.
She’s a fraud.
She hates her life.
She always did.
Nothing ever goes as planned.
She can never stay motivated long enough
to ever accomplish anything she can be proud of for a long time.
So this is the end.
This suicide is her goodbye.
She doesn’t see any hope in anything.
She’s hurting more and more.
She just wants peace.
She just wants to live in peace now.
Maybe she’ll be missed.
Everyone can laugh and be happy
after she takes her last breath.
He roams the streets,
eats out of dumpsters,
and sleeps in dark alleys.
He ran away from home a few months ago.
He’d rather die on some deserted street, alone,
than pretend to feel alive inside
when it’s anything but quiet.