Poetry On A Roll

I could be lost
somewhere untouchable by man
but somewhere deep down
in the darkness of my confusion
and man-made inflicting wounds,
I wanted to be saved
from myself above all others.

I didn’t want to end up
in the lost and found bin
people often forget really do exist;
in the last place
people actually don’t
look for lost things.

Though I was not a thing,
just a person
often classified
as something unlovable.
Tossed to the side
and left to die
by my own hands
had I leaped
at the many opportunities
represented before me,
so nicely wrapped,
to soar free
from my temporary situations.

The places I’ve been,
the things I’ve seen,
the things I’ve done…
Only the blood
of the Lord Jesus Christ
could’ve reeled me in
from my destined route
of destruction.

Each breath
is a motivation to live.

A perfect reason
to change
for the better good.

A strong desire
to make
each day count.

A friendly reminder
not to live
in regret.

An awe-inspiring love
of a Father you’ll get
to see one day soon.

A powerful blessing
you may never truly be able
to grasp with your highly intelligent
level of understanding.

A sacred moment
that will surely pass you by
without you even realizing it.

I’ve been awake
for a while now.

I began to see
the many things,
any and everything imaginable,
that man has been programmed
to miss with the naked eye.

It’s a spiritual battle,
that much I know.

Everyone has a story to tell.
Each one is quite unique;
no two stories are the same,
though they might share many similarities.

The time will come
when yours will be told
in full detail,
better than you can ever tell it.

I’m either stuck in the past
or racing towards the future.

Never really living,
just barely existing…

Forgot to live in the moment.

“Streets paved with gold”,
that’s the sales pitch
for the American Dream.

After all, money does
grow on trees and everyone
lives the good life.

I know!
I used to think
the same thing until I became
homeless and my car got repossessed…
and many, many more fortunate events
I’ve been so blessed to experience.

I left home at 12 years old
to live with family
in a brand new country.

My mother had given up
my sister and I
to her aunt (my grandmother’s sister)
in what appeared to be an adoption of sorts.

My grand aunt had painted
a nice picture for my mother
and I was looking forward
to a better life.

It was certainly nice at first,
I can’t deny the joy I felt
at being showered with

more food and clothes,
a bike, roller skates,
my own bed, and many things
I was never used to.

My father was not
a presence in my life
so that was that.

I was adopted,
that was the story
I was being told.

Just a last name change
would seal the deal,
that’s all I remember.

I was simply asked
if
I wanted my last name changed
and my response was
“NO!”
although I hated
my father’s legacy at the time;
I hated
that he had abandoned his children,
plus my original last name ryhmed
better with my first name
and it was all I had ever known.

Seemed like the
whole adoption thing tanked.
I’m not sure where I stand to this day.

Saying no was like poison.
I received so much backlash
for my reply.

The promise I made to myself
to help my mother as a child
wouldn’t have happened
if I had said yes to that name change.
I didn’t know that at the time.
I was just a kid.

To be continued…

You don’t know how
the Joneses did it.
You just want
what they have,
point blank,
end of story.

What they have
looks like a winner,
all day,
every day.
It’s the truth!

You’re a top class
admirer all the way
up or down.
The finer things in life are
constantly cruising your alley.

How the Joneses got their luxury,
you really do not want to know.
You just care about the Benjamins
and what they can do for you.

I keep my head straight
and my eyes even straighter
when it comes to certain things,
I don’t try to watch or envy
what others have.
I don’t know what it took for them
to have what they’ve got
so I stay focused
with all of my might
on the tasks ahead.
Envy is a distraction I do not need.

I have my own
built-in version of bravery
carved into the walls of my brain.