Wet words
on the tip of my tongue,
ready to make an exit.
Heard what you had to say.
Better off minding my business.
Swallowed them dry.
Humble, Humble Beginnings
One room.
No bathroom.
No kitchen.
Two twin beds.
Eight people.
I was one of eight
The American Dream Is Sacrifice
If you don’t work, you don’t eat.
The streets here
aren’t paved with gold,
within the first week,
you had that wake up call.
The American dream is sacrifice.
You work extra hard
for a little bit of change
but you do it
because you are building
your house back home
and your family has to eat.
You take the best job
you are qualified for
which is the worst job
in some people’s eyes,
few citizens would consider
but you don’t mind
washing dishes
is far better than anything
you could ever find
back in your country.
You are more than grateful
to be able to provide
for your family.
Pocket change to some
but a luxury to you.
Focused
I keep my head straight
and my eyes even straighter
when it comes to certain things,
I don’t try to watch or envy
what others have.
I don’t know what it took for them
to have what they’ve got
so I stay focused
with all of my might
on the tasks ahead.
Envy is a distraction I do not need.
Built-in Bravery
I have my own
built-in version of bravery
carved into the walls of my brain.
Dungeon Home
It took many years
of isolation
from the contamination
that was my broken family
to finally get
to a place where
I no longer feel like
the dirt
I was convinced I was
as a child growing up
in that twisted dungeon
of a house
that became
the only home
I had ever really
known.
Observer
People often look at me
with that puzzled look
that says “what do you have to say?”
about this or that
And when I shake my head and say nothing,
they often look away as if wounded
like that was my chance to save the day.
I never have much of anything to say,
I’m more of an observer.
Speaking up does not make one wiser.
Information need time to marinate.
And sometimes people are just
simply looking for a reaction.
A Better Me
To be
a better me
is my daily goal.
I no longer wait
’til the end of the year
or the beginning of the new
to figure out my weak spots.
Insecurity #2
I always feel like
the odd one out.
Always missing
the mark somehow.
Just the awkward person
no one wants to volunteer
their lovely time to be around.
Insecurity #1
I always feel like
someone is laughing at me
so I always do my best
to fade into the background.
Brave
I am brave now
because I have been
afraid long enough.
I am tired
of running away
from the truth
of where I’ve been;
the things
I’ve seen, said, and done
cannot be undone.
Positive Thinking
Keep the darkness out;
push negativity over the cliff.
Clear your thoughts,
no more doubting.
Only let the light in,
you deserve a positive start.
Kneel Before God
I kneel
before God
daily
so that I can stand
before anyone
without fear.
Letting Go of Regrets
I don’t regret
my past.
Now.
However there are some things
I would’ve done different
or not at all
had I known better.
Before I would’ve given anything
not to be in the position I was in.
Regardless of my journey,
I’m very thankful and grateful
for the lessons I’ve learned.
Good or bad,
I am here
through it all
for a reason.
