Poetry On A Roll

I expose my heart by candlelight daily
but I’m still a stranger to myself deep down
there are still some repressed memories
I’ve collected a lot of emotions

Your mental health is important
a stable headspace means peace of mind
no amount of money can buy your life

“I am me, unique and all,”—I am a warrior—
that’s who I am, but sometimes I don’t
always see my potential; my weaknesses
take the forefront, and I forget about
my uniqueness. I should’ve been dead
and buried a long time ago, but I am here,
exactly where God intended for me to be
blessed and highly favored. My blog is
my therapist; I used to be a debilitating mess,
depressed and dying; I was too focused on
not messing up, devaluing my self-worth
stemmed from approval addiction
and comparing myself to other people’s
current levels. Everything spiraled
out of control and sent my life down
the rabbit hole; I didn’t know myself,
and that’s my honesty.

Sometimes I feel rejected, unappreciated,
and discouraged; I experience all the negative
side effects of life, you name it, and I’ve been
through the works. Who hasn’t? But none
of these trials and tribulations define me
my life has been one heck of a journey
these roadblocks have strengthened me
I’m in warrior mode.

God has tested me the most this year
I’m in my growing season, the constant tug-of-war
my imperfect life on display, I’m finally
facing myself in the mirror
getting battered and bruised I know all too well
this breaking point is my testimony;
I’ve still got some fight left in me
but, this is also my breakthrough
and another part of my testimony
I’m no longer a crab
there’s a crack in my shell.

Give up on negativity under misleading
pretenses, kill your fears as a sacrifice
to courage, divorce self-doubt as though
you have no friends, insert positivity
into your life, and get ready for change.

Shake hands with your neighbor
as though you are in a commercial,
pickpocket love filling every square inch
of the paper, express your shame about
racism, colorism, classism, discrimination
and dedicate your newfound knowledge to
all lives matter.

Take the advice of others upside down,
kindly roll down the window and offer a ride
for each unwanted opinion while employing
lots of footnotes then toss some salt
over each shoulder for good measure.

Misremember mistreatment
with your dying breaths, break
every possible barrier while describing
your lack of self-worth while hopping
on one foot, hypnotize happiness
using only two-syllable words.

Nervously kid about everything
while looking in the mirror
blandly relate an anecdote
about fearlessness in the form
of a message in a bottle
get distracted by another person’s
opinion as though you were
the person you most admire.

Calculate time without haste, pretend
you don’t care about rushing while
pretending no one is watching, invest
in patience, dashingly spend your time wisely
as though giving directions to a snail.

Throw a friendly arm around boredom
while sweating profusely, overthink
reading a book, never quite getting to
the point of someone else’s imagination
move blocks of apps around on your
phone to add a little excitement.

Heavily edit your comments about
harming yourself as if you are freezing
to death cut off all considerations of
ending the temporary pain while requesting
help reveal the truth about quietly battling
mental illness in the trunk of your car.