Poetry On A Roll

I’m in a grateful place in my life
I realize every breath is a gift
and the next moment is not promised

It’s all about them and what they want
these people will lie and play the victim 24/7
it’s all about what you can do for them
They’re never satisfied no matter how many
times you’ve bent over backward
to lend a helping hand; they’ll cuss you out
in a heartbeat and tell you
you’ve done nothing for them.

You might see my struggles
from time to time, but you will
never see me down for long; I’m going
to wear my best smile even when
I want to crawl up in a corner and cry
—I am determined to win.

I lay awake at night
unable to sleep
my mind is all over the place.

There’s been a dark shadow
over my life these past few years
I’ve overextended myself trying to
put a smile on someone else’s face
but I’ve been so uncomfortable
in my house, I’m walking on eggshells.

I write about my experiences; the good
comes with the bad; it’s not all ice cream
and cake as social media likes to paint
the picture; real life is packed with emotions
and challenges; it takes a sound mind
not to jump over the ledge. People need
to know they are not alone, so I share
my experiences with courage.

Sometimes, I’m too focused on what’s not
going right in my life that I forget
all the things that do put a smile
on my face; if I’m not careful, I’ll end up
missing chunks from my life.

I’ve had to make some crucial decisions
over these past few months and learn
to stand by my choices for better or worse
peace of mind is a choice and an opportunity
I cannot afford to sacrifice for likes any longer.

This year I received a generous dose
of how unrealistic some family members are
I received a firsthand collision course
on how much they don’t care about me
it’s all in their actions. My mental health
and happiness mean nothing; they’re more
concerned with keeping up appearances.

Speak up; silence is a choice
don’t sacrifice your happiness
to satisfy someone else’s selfish appetite

I expose my heart by candlelight daily
but I’m still a stranger to myself deep down
there are still some repressed memories
I’ve collected a lot of emotions