Learning Curve

I am just now coming
out of my painful shell;
my protected zone, a mere plastic bubble.
I am just now activating my capabilities.
Though my power’s been there all along,
sheltering behind the curtains.


A learning curve emerges as I find myself:
the art of public speaking.
My VR app says
to “expand on my thoughts more.”


by Poetry on a Roll

This Is My Blog

for all the times’ others drowned me out,
my blog became my voice

when rejection accompanied me,
this location is where I cried

when anxiety overshadowed me
I received my power back here.

when depression tried to restrain me
I discovered my way out here.

when suicidal thoughts penetrated me;
this defense of choice became my 24/7 therapist

I exist only in my head,
the vibration of my voice echoes weirdly at times
I vocalize everything with certainty in my mind
but coming out my words seem jumbled up
and my thoughtfulness incomplete

I have a lot to say
but uncertainty confounds me;
“I’m not good enough” vacations with me,
constant comparison with everyone else’s current level shadows around me

I’m not shy; never was
I merely wore the various labels
others drafted for me like an emblem of honor
my comfort zone is uncomfortable now
I don’t belong in a box.

I scatter my heart and my soul here
if you desire to get to know me
begin here
what I don’t say out loud,
ends up on these pages.

by Poetry on a Roll

The Bigger Picture

Blessings never get old.
Some big, some small — never overrated.
The big ones are the miracles you hope to have
every day relaxing in your closet on a rainy day
—but the little ones are the diamonds you don’t see
before your eyes, they rest waiting patiently,
hoping for you to assemble them together like a puzzle,
you cannot see the bigger picture if you don’t look around.

by Poetry on a Roll

Family

The concept is family.
Now imagine a man,
adopting another family as his own.

When no one else was in proximity, he was there.
He’s the total package.

A noble friend.
An accomplished cook.
An enthusiastic reader.
A rhythmic piano player.
An instrumental teacher.
A perfect son for any parent
A dependable husband for any woman
An exemplary parent for any child
What’s not to love?

Yet, there is no assurance he is who says he is.
You only know him from the angle he shows.
Courteous and caring
His anger always under wraps.
Never an ordinary moment with this man.
But there has got to be more; you’ll soon find out.

He doesn’t have a family of his own.
His father verbally abused him;
he was a disappointment in the older man’s eyes.
So, he drank himself to sleep every night
running away from the pain of his childhood.

Then his wife ditched him for another man.
He wasn’t what she was looking for in her life.
And he never had a child of his own.

You became the family he never had.
And he appreciated every moment.
When no one else was around, you were there.
He died with a family to call his own.

by Poetry on a Roll

The Other Side of Love

Love is loving you
enough to let you go
your way, you deserve to grow
on your happy terms doing
what you love to do,
gossiping in bed all day like a good
Christian lady, that’s your actual image.

No ambition.
Wasted talents.
Inside Edition.

Great public image.
Things are worse than they appear.
An outsider’s perspective.

But you deserve happiness too.
Final observation.

by Poetry on a Roll

A Quarantine Break

We jump rope for fun.
We go outside to catch a little sun.
We sometimes lack motivation.
We push each other.
We take a few breaks.
We keep the stress low.
We sweat a little.
We sweat a lot.
We take one day at a time.
We stay active.
We don’t keep score.

by Poetry on a Roll