Swimming in his pain,
drowning in his unhappiness

all logic thrown out the window,
on the brink of walking off that ledge

dreams of peace,
the only peace he can find

it takes a lot every day,
to wake up every day

trying to find a reason and a rhyme
to not say goodbye for the last time

every time he walks out the door
with suicide on his mind

for brothers like mine who struggles every day with living or dying

House of Bones

Home was never really a home,
it was a dry, dry desert
masqueraded by instability
and family affairs that nurtured rumors.

Everything lovely was branded nasty and dirty,
it was wrong to be happy
in the presence of those
who were still mourning their youth.

Childhood memories were damaged,
lies were companions in beds with people
like a married couple.
Anything important was a joke.
Everything was a conspiracy.

Despise, hatred, and rejection
lead the way to depression.
Destruction was inevitable.
Something had to give.

Too many years of turmoil and distress,
too many unheard cries for help,
and unnoticed suicide attempts.
The damage will never be repaired.

Everything good and inviting
should’ve began at home in the arms of love
but it was the most dangerous place to be
instead of the safest place to let
the heat from the rest of the world off.
Some of the worst kinds of monsters lived there.


When he cuts,
he feels relieved.
It’s like a weight has been lifted.
Though scars remain,
it is the closest he’ll ever get to
experiencing a near-death high
because he doesn’t have the heart to
end the very thing he despise.

Her Depression

Her family and friends won’t admit it;
no one wants to talk about it,
everyone goes out of their merry ways to avoid
her depression,
her destruction,
her suicide attempts;
her desperate cries for help.

She was a ticking time bomb
just waiting to explode at any moment.
She wasn’t safe;
she didn’t feel safe in her own skin.

She let people
she thought would help know
she wasn’t in a safe place
but they did nothing to help;
they sincerely did not care
that she needed them
to listen to her,
to hear her cries for help
…for once.

They tuned her out,
because they believed that she was making up
her depression,
her destruction,
her suicide attempts;
her desperate cries for help.

With plenty of prayer and lots of tears,
she pulled through;
she endured all the dark days and nights
that tested her endurance;
there were many days
when she thought she wouldn’t make it

And until this day
her family and friends won’t admit it,
no one wants to talk about it
so she never coughs up her disease
because they still avoid
her depression,
her destruction,
her suicide attempts;
her desperate cries for help.


The nightmare began,
the day she stepped foot on American soil.

Back home, everything was different.
She missed home and her family and friends.
She came from a happy place.
She was loved.
She’ll always remember how loved she always felt.

She was not prepared
for anything that was about to happen.
She was introduced to depression and suicide,
they had no mercy on her,
they ripped her apart to the point
where death accompanied her wherever she went.

She felt alone, unloved and unwanted.
Everyone she opened up to dismissed her cries for help.
She went from being treated good
to being treated like a

A family member actually said
those very dirty words to her.

The things she endured
has left scars
this lifetime will never heal.

My Brother’s Tragedy

My brother has death marked in his eyes.
His whole aura has changed.
He has all but given up on life.
Whether he lives or dies,
he does not care anymore.
He has reached
the point of no return.

His depression is real deep.
Thoughts of suicide somersaults
in his head like a plague.
Death might be his only release
if intervention doesn’t happen now.

What he’s going through is tearing him apart.
He does not feel loved or cared for;
he feels alone, empty, lost, broken, sad, unhappy.
His journey, his purpose in life abandoned.

A Suicide Fact

It’s more common than what gets publicized,
more common now than ever before.
More and more people (young and old)
think it’s the way to go.

Suicide is a taboo subject.
No one wants to talk about it
but at this very instant…
your brother, sister, aunt, uncle,
cousin, friend, best friend,
boyfriend, girlfriend, son or daughter
even father, mother,
grandfather or grandmother…
the people you’d least expect
to even give this grave idea a thought
could be contemplating suicide
or experiencing a past attempt.

The fact is that
It may never hit home for you
but every couple of minutes
someone makes an attempt to end his or her own life
by hanging, overdosing, firing a single gunshot to the head, etc
…somewhere around the world
…someone will die by his or her
own trembling hands.

Part 5: The Suicide Series

It’s simple…
maybe you are not depressed,
getting bullied,
or some other tragic case.

Maybe you had a bad argument with someone…
a parent, friend, boyfriend or girlfriend
and it hit a nerve in a terrifying way.

It wasn’t intentional,
you just didn’t know how to cope
with the unfamiliar emotions that came forth.
You were hurting in a way you’ve never experienced before

but instead of talking about it,
you became enraged and started slashing your wrist
or causing other bodily harm in a deathtrap way;

maybe you thought that taking a bunch of pills
would be enough
to send the message you wanted to deliver
but never woke up to shed the dead weight.

Part 4: The Suicide Series

You don’t know how to talk about it
so you suffer alone in darkness,
trying to find a way out
of your lonesome self.

Your days fill up with tears
and that guilty trip of feeling sorry
for yourself is your best friend.

You are always feeling sad and hopeless,
helpless and worthless.

Some feelings come and go
but some never leave,
haunting and taunting you day and night.

Sometimes you find yourself over-sleeping
and can’t seem to get out of bed
or sometimes you roam the house at night
searching for that peace of mind.

Everything seems wrong in your life,
you are having the hardest time concentrating
on simple tasks, remembering things
or even making small decisions.

You don’t know what to do.
This thing has overpowered you.

There is only one thing left to do
and since you are too afraid
or too ashamed to seek help,
you can only think of one way to go.

Suicide has become your obsession.

No one cares,
“not even you”.

Part 3: The Suicide Series

Everything seems “normal”
from the outside looking in.

You could be the shyest person around
or even the most popular girl or boy;
anyone can become a victim.

For no explainable reason,
one day, your life got turned upside down
by someone who is fighting
his or her own demonic battles.

You are living in a nightmare,
day in and day out,
you try to find an escape route
from the dirty words and jokes,
mean looks, and cruel laughs
of those who are not in your shoes.

You cope and deal with it the best way
that you can
but the pain and scar
of the taunting and teasing
is squeezing your life support.

You start doing and thinking things
That has never really crossed your mind before;
you are constantly in a foul mood,
depressed, and stressed.

You suffer alone
in the confines of your room
wishing you could tell a parent or a friend
but for you, it probably wouldn’t matter at this point
because you are at the end of your rope anyway.

You have been a bullying victim for months,
Inside and outside of school.
Even on the social networks,
there is no breath of fresh air for you;
there is no end to the madness.

None. At least not yet.

Everything is in perspective now,
the pain you feel
won’t ease up
until you are out of the picture.

Part 2: The Suicide Series

There’s a daring voice within
barking commands;
telling you what to do
-right or wrong-
it will be done;
one way or another
the killer voice will win.
It is out of your control
once medication
has lost its way
from your bloodstream.

The Suicide Series Inspiration

The Suicide Series was inspired by some YouTube videos I saw a good while back on suicide. It was very tragic and heartbreaking about kids and teens taking their lives because they were bullied, which triggered their depression and other fatal wounds. I can’t even begin to imagine what those parents have been through and are going through from losing their child in this manner. Parents, let us be the example that we want our children to be. Every lesson begins with us.

R.I.P to all of them.

Here is a little something I wrote in remembrance:

Shattered hearts.
From within they must heal.
Memories are all that’s left
of their lives cut short.
Their light-bulbs
can never be replaced
because they will never be forgotten.