I’m going for the gold. Till the end I will fight
every demon I have ever encountered to get to
my destination of growth and prosperity.
I will no longer stand in my way.
Sealed up in my comfortable, comfortable shell,
the place I’ve called home all of my life,
making up cover stories, thinking that being
quiet, shy and reserved
will get me to where I need to be.
I am sick of standing behind the curtains;
behind the scenes,
waiting for my name to be called.
I’ve always been a doormat.
I’ve always been a nail on a wall or nailed to the floor.
I’m always at the back of the line,
in the background getting overlooked
like a forgotten painting on a lonely wall.
Severe anxiety has always got my hands
cuffed behind my back.
I hate when anxiety attacks.
I hate when I’m staring around nervously,
wringing my hands, shaking my head in confusion,
yes, no, maybe, I don’t know
being an undecided freak show
instead of being confident and outspoken.
My exterior is weak. Is that what people see?
I cannot take the back seat
a moment longer, watching my life
pass me by as I wave with hands of fear.
I’m much, much stronger than I look.
Is that the answer people seek?
Afraid to be seen,
afraid to be heard.
Afraid of total acceptance,
afraid of rejection.
Afraid of success,
afraid of failure.
Afraid to live,
afraid to die.
Afraid. Afraid. Afraid.
Is that living?
It’s time. Every fiber in me
says I have nothing to fear.
It is time to overcome.
It is time to start living life
as it was meant to be lived.