Stagnant

I’m either stuck
in the past with memories
or racing
towards the future with worries.
Never really living,
just barely existing…
Forgetting to simply live today.
Life wasting away in a haste.

Glimpses

Occasionally, I need to look back
(at my past)
but not constantly.
I’m not going that way.

Deceitful Heart

The heart is deceitful
above all things,
and desperately wicked:
who can know it? -Jeremiah 17:9

Lord, help me
to follow You
all the way home.
I don’t need anymore distractions.
My emotions have stirred me
down the wrong path
more times
than I care to remember.

Abortion Is Murder

Abortion is murder.
There’s no pretty way
to paint that picture.

There’s a baby,
a human being,
growing inside your body.

Abortion is a sin
and committing murder is a sin.
There’s no way around the hard truth.
Take it or leave it.

The regret is indescribable;
it might’ve felt like a relief
but that feeling is just temporary.

I wouldn’t dare make that mistake again.
I wouldn’t even let it cross my mind.
It’s not worth my mental health.
Abortion is a lie.

Addicted To Porn

At one point in my life,
I became addicted to porn.

I wanted to understand
what the fuss was all about
but the filth consumed my time;
too much of it.

I wanted to please him
and keep him interested in me
but the filth polluted my mind.

God has delivered me.
It’s truly an addicting fantasy.
I couldn’t get away from it on my own.

Reeled In

I could be lost
somewhere untouchable by man
but somewhere deep down
in the darkness of my confusion
and man-made inflicting wounds,
I wanted to be saved
from myself above all others.

I didn’t want to end up
in the lost and found bin
people often forget really do exist;
in the last place
people actually don’t
look for lost things.

Though I was not a thing,
just a person
often classified
as something unlovable.
Tossed to the side
and left to die
by my own hands
had I leaped
at the many opportunities
represented before me,
so nicely wrapped,
to soar free
from my temporary situations.

The places I’ve been,
the things I’ve seen,
the things I’ve done…
Only the blood
of the Lord Jesus Christ
could’ve reeled me in
from my destined route
of destruction.

Each Breath

Each breath
is a motivation to live.

A perfect reason
to change
for the better good.

A strong desire
to make
each day count.

A friendly reminder
not to live
in regret.

An awe-inspiring love
of a Father you’ll get
to see one day soon.

A powerful blessing
you may never truly be able
to grasp with your highly intelligent
level of understanding.

A sacred moment
that will surely pass you by
without you even realizing it.

Unlearn and Relearn

Your livelihood
should not depend
on the approval of
someone else’s happiness.

Master your own happiness.
Incorporate more of the things
that bring a smile to your face.
You’re worth it too.

The American Dream Sales Pitch

“Streets paved with gold”,
that’s the sales pitch
for the American Dream.

After all, money does
grow on trees and everyone
lives the good life.

I know!
I used to think
the same thing until I became
homeless and my car got repossessed…
and many, many more fortunate events
I’ve been so blessed to experience.

Sort of Adopted

I left home at 12 years old
to live with family
in a brand new country.

My mother had given up
my sister and I
to her aunt (my grandmother’s sister)
in what appeared to be an adoption of sorts.

My grand aunt had painted
a nice picture for my mother
and I was looking forward
to a better life.

It was certainly nice at first,
I can’t deny the joy I felt
at being showered with

more food and clothes,
a bike, roller skates,
my own bed, and many things
I was never used to.

My father was not
a presence in my life
so that was that.

I was adopted,
that was the story
I was being told.

Just a last name change
would seal the deal,
that’s all I remember.

I was simply asked
if
I wanted my last name changed
and my response was
“NO!”
although I hated
my father’s legacy at the time;
I hated
that he had abandoned his children,
plus my original last name ryhmed
better with my first name
and it was all I had ever known.

Seemed like the
whole adoption thing tanked.
I’m not sure where I stand to this day.

Saying no was like poison.
I received so much backlash
for my reply.

The promise I made to myself
to help my mother as a child
wouldn’t have happened
if I had said yes to that name change.
I didn’t know that at the time.
I was just a kid.

To be continued…