Discipline Speaking

Quieting the noise in my head,
when doubt feels brave.

I’ve got one voice in my head
telling me “it’s okay to relax today”. 
I’ve got another voice telling me
“Missing one day won’t hurt”,
While another one says
“just pick up where you left off whenever you get back;
you’ve had a great start, that must count for something”.
And finally, another voice will say
“it’s just one day…what’s the big deal with missing one day?”.

What those voices say has nothing to do with me.
I shut them down,
I will not listen to the doubt.
I am in control now.
I run the show.
This is discipline speaking now.

If I make the mistake and give in to those voices today,
I’ll never hear the end.
So I keep going
even when my mind is telling me to take a break. 

Better Today

Yea, I did better today
than I did yesterday.

I walk away having done my best.
I’m blessed, making good progress.
I’m watering my roots.
Getting ready to sprout up.
I’ll grow until I reach my height.

The Silent Ones

Their silence spread like wildlife on kerosene,
barely above a whisper, they’ll speak,
their voices pierce the controlled air.

Here and there, they give a peep.
Just enough sustenance to make a beep.

The rest of their words
escape into the darkness unheard of,
suppressed for the right moment to speak up.

Not My Best Self

I settled for less than I deserved.
Going against my better judgment became the norm.
All in the name of a peaceful life.

Quick to budge;
always caving in to other people’s demands.
Being naïve was just getting played out.
I couldn’t keep relishing in my excuses.

Rough around the edges,
change was necessary,
but hard-work stopped the race.
I wasn’t ready, or so I told myself


I write for me.
Though I’m hoping my candor will help you
get to the next chapter in your life.
By choice, I open my heart to your wounded soul.

God knows the trials and tribulations I’ve faced,
it has not been easy
exposing my soul to the world.

You’ve felt my insecurities.
Journeyed with me on the back-and-forth
fist-fights with fear and anxiety
and all the issues life dishes out under one roof.
Yet, my life story in all of its glory
cannot compete with the knowledge found in the Bible.

I write for me.
Though I’m hoping my candor will help you
get to the next chapter in your life.
By choice, I open my heart to your wounded soul.

Approval Addiction

Behind the shadows
of other people’s thoughts,
I hid behind
my greatness.

I’d tell myself
“I didn’t like the spotlight,”
hiding behind the scenes,
I felt comfortable.
I had nothing to lose
except for my comfort zone.
It’d take a lot for me to give that up.

I’d go to meetings,
so nervous, I’d be sick.
The play going on in my head
of what other people
thought of me, constantly on replay
was ruining my life.
I didn’t know how to stop it.

And for the days leading up to these meetings,
I’d be jumpy,
couldn’t sleep,
couldn’t think straight
… just a mess
and on the day of the meeting,
I’d tremble in my seat, couldn’t speak
… they had their titles for a reason,
they knew more than I did,
that was my conclusion.
I was where I was for a reason,
always trailing behind the perception of other people’s reality;
I didn’t see myself
outside of
the labels I accepted as my personality.

My ideas,
I wanted everyone to like,
I’d end up keeping them to myself,
fearing their almost certain rejection
if I dared open my mouth
to “challenge” authority
or at least that’s how I saw it;
it was safer that way.
Constantly telling myself “no, I could not do it”;
dismissing my own skills as “not good enough”
while exemplifying other people’s efforts.

I held conversations in my head
of how I thought people would react
if I said or did
this or that.
Consistently holding back my voice,
fearfully agreeing with other people’s opinions,
not wanting to disrupt the peace.

I lived for the high I’d get
if someone liked my hair
or some other outside appearance
(or the few times an idea I had made its way into the limelight)
… they’d only get to see the best result
after many failed attempts,
at my displayed “perfection.”

I worried myself sick
about things that did not concern me.
I’ve done plenty of damage to my self-esteem.
Self-doubt ran rampage in every area of my life.
My unique personality became a backseat rider.

I didn’t know how to approve of myself;
I obsessed over what
other people thought of me.
I was surely fading away,
my dreams didn’t even want to hang around.

Uncomfortable Comfort Zone

This little “safety” bubble of mine,
It’s been my little comfort zone.

All cozy and all,
just what I’ve needed to keep me warm
from the cold, cold world outside.
Those were the days of not growing!

Now my comfort zone is becoming uncomfortable.
I’m poking little holes in it daily,
slowly deflating its deception.

Above The Call of Duty

I’ve always gone above the call of duty.
Treating others better than I treat myself.
It’s just who I am.
My 9 to 5 is no different.
I do my best every single day.
I’ll rest when I am done.
That’s just how I flow.
I appreciate every opportunity to learn and grow.
I see the bigger picture.

What People Think

What people say about you out loud.
What people think about you in their heads.
Has nothing to do with you.

Get it out of your system that you are not enough.
You are quite unique.
And you’ve got special skills and abilities
Not one person on this planet
will ever be able to duplicate exactly.

Try as they may,
It will be all in vain
For you’ve got the number one spot
No one else can ever take from you.
It’s yours if you want it.

Continue to be you.
Unique and all with a few extra perks.
Don’t worry about those naysayers.
Go out and conquer the world.

You’ll never please them anyway,
No matter how hard you try.
It’s a battle you’ll never be able to win.
You were born for a purpose.