Keeping Up Appearances

This year I received a generous dose
of how unrealistic some family members are
I received a firsthand collision course
on how much they don’t care about me
it’s all in their actions. My mental health
and happiness mean nothing; they’re more
concerned with keeping up appearances.

A Warrior (Extended Version)

“I am me, unique and all,”—I am a warrior—
that’s who I am, but sometimes I don’t
always see my potential; my weaknesses
take the forefront, and I forget about
my uniqueness. I should’ve been dead
and buried a long time ago, but I am here,
exactly where God intended for me to be
blessed and highly favored. My blog is
my therapist; I used to be a debilitating mess,
depressed and dying; I was too focused on
not messing up, devaluing my self-worth
stemmed from approval addiction
and comparing myself to other people’s
current levels. Everything spiraled
out of control and sent my life down
the rabbit hole; I didn’t know myself,
and that’s my honesty.

Sometimes I feel rejected, unappreciated,
and discouraged; I experience all the negative
side effects of life, you name it, and I’ve been
through the works. Who hasn’t? But none
of these trials and tribulations define me
my life has been one heck of a journey
these roadblocks have strengthened me
I’m in warrior mode.

God has tested me the most this year
I’m in my growing season, the constant tug-of-war
my imperfect life on display, I’m finally
facing myself in the mirror
getting battered and bruised I know all too well
this breaking point is my testimony;
I’ve still got some fight left in me
but, this is also my breakthrough
and another part of my testimony
I’m no longer a crab
there’s a crack in my shell.