‘Not Messing Up’

Conversations flow freely in my mind
no shortage of words, never a dull moment
I am calm and fearless, but verbally, I have
a hard time explaining myself
I overestimate everything. When it’s time
to speak, I get nervous; my mind
starts racing, anxiety sets in, my heart pounds
it’s a debilitating mess. I can’t think
straight anymore; I’m so focused on
‘not messing up,’ but still, my words
come out jumbled up, and my explanations
incomplete; I’ve transformed into a coward
what people think consumes my mind.