This Is My Blog

for all the times’ others drowned me out,
my blog became my voice

when rejection accompanied me,
this location is where I cried

when anxiety overshadowed me
I received my power back here.

when depression tried to restrain me
I discovered my way out here.

when suicidal thoughts penetrated me;
this defense of choice became my 24/7 therapist

I exist only in my head,
the vibration of my voice echoes weirdly at times
I vocalize everything with certainty in my mind
but coming out my words seem jumbled up
and my thoughtfulness incomplete

I have a lot to say
but uncertainty confounds me;
“I’m not good enough” vacations with me,
constant comparison with everyone else’s
current level shadows around me

I’m not shy; never was
I merely wore the various labels
others drafted for me like an emblem of honor
my comfort zone is uncomfortable now
I don’t belong in a box.

I scatter my heart and my soul here
if you desire to get to know me
begin here
what I don’t say out loud,
ends up on these pages.

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