for all the times’ others drowned me out,
my blog became my voice
when rejection accompanied me,
this location is where I cried
when anxiety overshadowed me
I received my power back here.
when depression tried to restrain me
I discovered my way out here.
when suicidal thoughts penetrated me;
this defense of choice became my 24/7 therapist
I exist only in my head,
the vibration of my voice echoes weirdly at times
I vocalize everything with certainty in my mind
but coming out my words seem jumbled up
and my thoughtfulness incomplete
I have a lot to say
but uncertainty confounds me;
“I’m not good enough” vacations with me,
constant comparison with everyone else’s current level shadows around me
I’m not shy; never was
I merely wore the various labels
others drafted for me like an emblem of honor
my comfort zone is uncomfortable now
I don’t belong in a box.
I scatter my heart and my soul here
if you desire to get to know me
what I don’t say out loud,
ends up on these pages.