Learning Curve

I am just now coming
out of my painful shell;
my protected zone, a mere plastic bubble.
I am just now activating my capabilities.
Though my power’s been there all along,
sheltering behind the curtains.

A learning curve emerges as I find myself:
the art of public speaking.
My VR app says
to “expand on my thoughts more.”

This Is My Blog

for all the times’ others drowned me out,
my blog became my voice

when rejection accompanied me,
this location is where I cried

when anxiety overshadowed me
I received my power back here.

when depression tried to restrain me
I discovered my way out here.

when suicidal thoughts penetrated me;
this defense of choice became my 24/7 therapist

I exist only in my head,
the vibration of my voice echoes weirdly at times
I vocalize everything with certainty in my mind
but coming out my words seem jumbled up
and my thoughtfulness incomplete

I have a lot to say
but uncertainty confounds me;
“I’m not good enough” vacations with me,
constant comparison with everyone else’s current level shadows around me

I’m not shy; never was
I merely wore the various labels
others drafted for me like an emblem of honor
my comfort zone is uncomfortable now
I don’t belong in a box.

I scatter my heart and my soul here
if you desire to get to know me
begin here
what I don’t say out loud,
ends up on these pages.