Second Family

When their families discovered who we were,
they discouraged their children from being our friends,
that harsh judgment originated from the fabricated
storylines my family reported. These people
didn’t know us kids personally but felt the need to run.
Over time, they drew their honest conclusions
and became the family we didn’t have.


That slap my little cousin received
did not originate from me, but I got accused
of the incident. The mother of the child stormed
into the bedroom and laid her claws on me;
I didn’t fight back. That madwoman took
her resentment out on teenage me
and left the house. No one came to my rescue;
everyone laughed in my face,
including the cousin who did the slapping.

Learning Curve

I am just now coming
out of my painful shell;
my protected zone, a mere plastic bubble.
I am just now activating my capabilities.
Though my power’s been there all along,
sheltering behind the curtains.

A learning curve emerges as I find myself:
the art of public speaking.
My VR app says
to “expand on my thoughts more.”

This Is My Blog

for all the times’ others drowned me out,
my blog became my voice

when rejection accompanied me,
this location is where I cried

when anxiety overshadowed me
I received my power back here.

when depression tried to restrain me
I discovered my way out here.

when suicidal thoughts penetrated me;
this defense of choice became my 24/7 therapist

I exist only in my head,
the vibration of my voice echoes weirdly at times
I vocalize everything with certainty in my mind
but coming out my words seem jumbled up
and my thoughtfulness incomplete

I have a lot to say
but uncertainty confounds me;
“I’m not good enough” vacations with me,
constant comparison with everyone else’s
current level shadows around me

I’m not shy; never was
I merely wore the various labels
others drafted for me like an emblem of honor
my comfort zone is uncomfortable now
I don’t belong in a box.

I scatter my heart and my soul here
if you desire to get to know me
begin here
what I don’t say out loud,
ends up on these pages.