Just A Glimpse

A glimpse of the past
here and there is enough for me.
I try to limit my visits,

only returning when absolutely necessary.
I don’t want to get stuck
with the pain that often accompanies
those reminder-retrieval trips
that I’ve come a long way.

Those heavy chains have a way
of lovingly reattaching themselves
to my feelings and emotions,
and I often end up going down
those same roller-coasters
that once held me hostage.

Sometimes I have to fight and hang on
by the skin of my teeth
with the past just to bring back
my mind frame into the present.

A Debilitating Mess

Anxiety keeps me quiet and stressed.
I don’t know how to process many situations,
my 12-year-old self takes over.

It keeps my voice low and shaky,
my heart racing and my palms sweating,
my face screwed up tight and my head aching like I’ve been in a fight

It keeps my throat dry and sore,
my mind running races I’ve never won,
and my thoughts doing automatic flip-flops

It’s a debilitating mess.
Maintaining a healthy mental health is a must.
Its aim is to steal, kill, and destroy.

And I cannot allow it to win;
I cannot allow my life to go to waste.
I just need to remember to keep “breathing”.

Tomorrow May Never Come

Some days will come by
and I’ll act like
it was mine to have all along.
I’ll get so busy and caught up
with everything else
that I forget to say “thank you”.

And then some days will come along
and I’ll remember without a doubt
tomorrow may never come
whether I appreciate it or not.

I’ve learned to wake up
with a grateful heart each day.
To start smelling the flowers
while they are still fresh.

Vulnerable

When necessary,
I’ll hang
my feelings and emotions
on the line to dry,
for all to see.

I’ll hang
my shame on the line
so someone else
can see
they are not alone
in their struggles.

The Shock

We often have
our lives all planned out.
It’s good to have an itinerary.
Short term goals.
Longterm goals.
There’s always something to do.

Death might come up
but it’s often chilling on the back burner.
We know it’s inevitable
so there’s no use
in beating ourselves up
about the one thing we’re certain
won’t skip over us
yet it gets us every time
we have to say goodbye
to the ones we love.

No amount of preparation
can prepare us for the shock.