Restless nights.
Slowly deteriorating.
Just enough sleep to get by.
Rest is in the eyes of the beholder.

Sometimes when people are “too” loud and outspoken,
I wonder what they are really covering up
or going through inside at the moment.

Sometimes it looks like a show;
they are using their voice as their only outlet
to drown out their pain.

I will not rest
until I have completed
my life’s journey;
I cannot rest
until I have built
a solid foundation.

A clean conscience.
Achievable at any stage in life.

Based on my understanding,
it’s impossible

but I am leaning unto one
greater than I’ll ever know.

Jail,
another kidnapping ring.
There are real criminals there
but there are also innocent people
locked up in there for crimes
they did not commit.

I’ve spent my whole life
putting others first.
I look for nothing in return.
Man cannot reward me.
It is out of their reach.

Thank God, I’m not a follower.
I’ve always been a “go-getter”
even though I’ve spent
more time procrastinating.

I know I’m antisocial
and it doesn’t bother me
…much anymore.

Before, it used to have me
go into a frenzy of
wanting “more friends”
but the more I thought about it,
the less inviting the thought became.

While more friends seem cool,
it certainly wouldn’t change
much of anything in my case,
I’ve learned to be comfortable
in my space…alone.

Yes, sometimes I do feel really alone
and would like that bonding experience
with someone but then when it does happen,
I can only manage so much of it
before I’m crying for my space again.

It’s a constant cycle
that I’ve had to put an end to
and I don’t make anyone
make me feel bad about it anymore.

Plus, the few good friends I have
have come to appreciate the times
we do spend together
which is not often.
So when it does happen,
it’s certainly a treat.

Everyone’s busy living their lives anyway,
including me.
I’ve long outgrown
the need for constant attention.

Living a life
that is separate
from the world is not easy,
but it is doable;
they will never understand
why you do not
want to be like them.

Seek after
The Lord Jesus Christ
and His righteousness
and everything else
will be added to your life
according to your obedience.