Entertaining Spirits

I’ve written about my experiences
with depression, love and lust,
and many, many other topics
whether they were of God or of the devil.

Many times, I was not in my right mind to distinguish.
I just went with the flow of emotions and feelings.
Looking back, the majority of those episodes
should have been rebuked;
they should not have been entertained.


The Truth Movement

In this day and age, everything is twisted and abused
for monetary gains or some darker purpose.
Guard your life, heart, body, mind, soul and spirit.

Use the spirit of discernment for everything.
Don’t ever take my word for anything or that of others.
Research and know things for yourself.

Labeled

Because of her faith and belief.
They say that she is crazy and delusional.

In a blink, she was shipped off to the psych ward
Placed on suicide watch and
“diagnosed” with schizophrenia, bipolar,
and something else she cannot remember.

24 hours ago, she was perfectly fine.
Laughing, singing and having a good time.
In her right mind.
No history of mental health.

Ode To My Beloved

I love you little children.
It is evident from the glow in my eyes.

When you cry.
So do I.

When you laugh.
So do I.
You tell the sweetest jokes.

No matter what I do,
you forgive me.
You say “mommy, it’s ok”.

I can count on you.
You always give honest advice.
And you’re a great listener.

You’ve been a major pillar of strength
on days when I didn’t feel like getting out of bed.

You’re my brave, strong heroes
Though you say I am yours.
You’re the best presents God has ever given me.

Spared

Life stopped.

The waters approached
with a thirsty vengeance.
Swept away.
Into the depths of
the “monster” called the ocean.
Nothing mattered,
for all would surely be

lost

lost

lost. 

You thought you were gone forever
but lovingly you were spared.
The ocean pumped life
back into your lungs.

photo credit: yahoo images

Dirty Bombs

With a runny mouth,
he spews cuss words like a hose.
Those destructive, dirty bombs
won’t hesitate
to penetrate
the mind
like a sword.
Proceed with caution!

Not An “Active” Friend

I have not been a good friend
to anyone for years now,
though others will say
I have been great to them
throughout the years.

I miss all that “good stuff”
but I’ve managed to maintain
a perfect distance
from everyone who has marinated my life,
apart from the occasional checking in.

Life happened in a blink.
Yes, it did (in my Wendy Williams voice).
Had to pass on
the envy-filled drama and
the sick gossiping baton
to the younger, crowd-pleasing folks.

Checked in with the adults.
Grew up and had a life.
A few friendships
got buried in the thick dust of time
as expected.

Time slipped away into the clouds.
Memories subdued.
I moved on. So did they.
Outgrew high school.
And we outgrew each other.

 

Missing Ingredient: Me

I’ve swam through the darkest waters,
pushing through the mud and filth

I’ve battled
depression
suicidal thoughts
anger
lust
heartbreak
being a single mom…
…none of which has claimed me

fighting off the stigmas
polluting my drive for existence

For years, I’ve looked and looked,
searching for something wonderful

to show proof that I have lived,
a life worth living in the eyes of man.

That was a life I could not live.
I had to find a way to include “me” in my own life.

I had to find a way to pack up and ship off the things
that at one point almost destroyed me.

It wasn’t easy. It’s never easy
to let go of the things that was once my starting point.

photo credit: yahoo images

For A Season

I’ve spent my fair share  nitpicking at everything.
From every angle of my life.

I’ve been mad at the past.
Yet scared of the future.

I’ve worried about everything.
Yet nothing in particular.

I don’t often remember,
it’s all  just temporary.

photo credit: yahoo images

 

Writer’s Block

for months, I did not have the urgency to write.
I was just “not feelin’ it”.

almost thought about quitting altogether.
didn’t feel like I had anything left to say.

my poetic justice died down.
now, I’m back in the game.