Moving Forward

I tell myself I’m better off without this man
every day but then I second-guess
my decisions; my mind wanders, and I think,
maybe if I had done this differently, or that
then perhaps we would be together now.
Those are the thoughts running through
my mind; those were the days when I was
drowning in the pain I inflicted upon myself
I was genuinely upset
over [losing] someone I never had.