Some hearts are golden, helping others in need
without looking for anything in return
giving from the heart is a rare gift these days
it requires no receipt for kindness.

I get passionate about something,
and then my weak mind stands
in the way; consistency does not
stick around; after a while I lose my way
when the real hard work comes to play.

Summer sailed by this year
it was just the beginning of June
and the kids were out of school
and now it’s almost August again
it’s back to the hustle and bustle
the calming season is over.

Dangling in front of me is
the bigger picture, I could
live my life based on my opinion
or other’s people’s way
based on their viewpoints
I have a choice to make
in how I live my life.

Sometimes I spit out some dangerous
words based on how I’m feeling, I’m fighting
hard to get my emotions out without
hurting anybody’s feelings my past is eating
away at my sanity, in a way I’m still
hanging on to my bottled up feelings,
so I’m not making progress.

Opposites attract, and in this case,
it’s strictly sexual nothing to talk about;
nothing in common. It’s a free spirit trying
to woo a homebody, a detached person
versus someone emotional; it’s a pointless
relationship; they’re better off by themselves.

I think I found love in a place
where I am on the giving
and the receiving ends of a paper stick
self-love will solve this problem.

I’m climbing high and digging deep
I’m on a quest to find
this thing called “love.”

I’ve nursing some sore wounds that keep
oozing pus; I keep digging up those
old bones in my closet while growling
at my past as if I am an animal. My mind
feels tormented from time to time; I spend
my nights fighting sleep, the past stings
like a bee; I want to scream, the trauma
keeps popping up; I want the pain to end.

I’m dealing with a lot of anger; it’s spilling
out everywhere; I have a hard time coping
with forgiveness, so I’m keeping my distance.
I need room to heal and space to breathe,
think, forget, forgive, and understand
my past and where I’m going.

broken hearts
discouraged life
estranged lovers
shattered dreams

God, above all! I say that now, but
I often look elsewhere for the things
I need even though I know
God’s Word is sufficient.

Swimming in his pain and drowning in
his unhappiness, he throws all logic
out the window; on the brink of
walking off the ledge, he dreams of
peace, the only peace he can find
it takes a lot every day to wake up every day
he’s trying to find a reason not to say
goodbye for the last time, every time
he walks out the door with suicide on his mind

for brothers like mine who struggle every day with living or dying