I am thankful for faithful friends
who make friendship a blast
it doesn’t feel like a chore.

I grew up blaming myself for everything
that went wrong in my house; I blamed
myself for other people’s unhappiness, so I
became a people-pleaser. I didn’t know
any better; in my young mind, I thought
I was doing my part; I didn’t realize
I was carrying the weight
of the world on my shoulders.

It’s not in vain what I went through
growing up in a home where love was
a hit or miss. My trials and tribulations
have unequivocally made me who I am today
—stronger and wiser—sometimes I think
everything happens only to me, but everyone
experiences seasons of growth and setbacks;
no one is exempt from life’s guidance.
Everything happens for a reason.

Trapped in the confines of my mind
I operate in fear; I speak with conviction,
but my day-to-day life does not
line up with my fearlessness.

Everyone has an image of themselves
that they wear like a badge of honor.

He sees me, all beautiful and flawless,
a man’s perfect dream, but I see myself
differently. I can pinpoint every imperfection
he fails to notate in his little book; that’s
what society has instilled in me to see
nothing but my faults.

I’m prompted to look like the skeletons
in the magazines—defining beauty
by model looks, gorgeous hairstyles,
a size zero frame, skimpy clothes,
expensive jewelry, a sugar daddy
to supply all my needs and everything else
that’s superficial—none of which are essential.

Beautiful, awesome, unique, loving, kind,
caring—this man sees me as a wonderful
woman, but I weigh every imperfection
and nothing else; his thoughtful
words fly over my head like a bird, a kite,
a plane. I cannot understand why he sees
what he sees in me, for in my eyes,
I’m not that great.

He sees me for who I am, but I do not see
myself at all; I’m chasing after the one
who got away; meanwhile, he’s trying to
convince me he’s one of the few good men
left in the world, and my response may have
been a little hard, I said, “good for you lucky fella,”
unfortunately, he’s not my type,
and I refuse to settle.

I love, I care, I’m helpful, I’m kind
if I judge, I do it unconsciously. I cry
I laugh, I’m an emotional wreck,
and I’m okay with that being real
I misbehave sometimes. I do and say
foolish things all the time; I’m not great
at lying, and I love that about myself
but I’m superb at being myself
whether or not I realize it.

I appreciate my uniqueness though
sometimes I forget that being unique is
an excellent thing; I under-appreciate
many things, but I’m learning
to eat the food in front of me.

Loving myself ✅
Finding my happiness ✅
Singing in the shower ✅
Living my life like it’s golden ✅

Life isn’t easy, and it isn’t always
fair but give thanks regardless
of the difficulties. I know
it’s hard to breathe sometimes.

Fantastic scenery, beautiful green grass,
the sky is a deep blue; it’s such a relaxing
and mesmerizing atmosphere; I’m enjoying
this soccer practice. Laughter fills the air.

I’m secretly jealous, alright!
Deep down inside, I wish
it was me in your arms at night.
Why does time work against us?
The time is never right
maybe that’s the answer.

It doesn’t take much effort
to pass on a smile
smiling is contagious.

From my deepest pain, anger,
resentment, disappointments, and a bag
full of other difficult emotions stirred deep
into my heart when I write the best
expressed pieces of my life story.