Nothing Is In Vain

It’s not in vain what I went through
growing up in a home where love was
a hit or miss. My trials and tribulations
have unequivocally made me who I am today
—stronger and wiser—sometimes I think
everything happens only to me, but everyone
experiences seasons of growth and setbacks;
no one is exempt from life’s guidance.
Everything happens for a reason.

What Do You See?

Everyone has an image of themselves
that they wear like a badge of honor.

He sees me, all beautiful and flawless,
a man’s perfect dream, but I see myself
differently. I can pinpoint every imperfection
he fails to notate in his little book; that’s
what society has instilled in me to see
nothing but my faults.

I’m prompted to look like the skeletons
in the magazines—defining beauty
by model looks, gorgeous hairstyles,
a size zero frame, skimpy clothes,
expensive jewelry, a sugar daddy
to supply all my needs and everything else
that’s superficial—none of which are essential.

Beautiful, awesome, unique, loving, kind,
caring—this man sees me as a wonderful
woman, but I weigh every imperfection
and nothing else; his thoughtful
words fly over my head like a bird, a kite,
a plane. I cannot understand why he sees
what he sees in me, for in my eyes,
I’m not that great.

He sees me for who I am, but I do not see
myself at all; I’m chasing after the one
who got away; meanwhile, he’s trying to
convince me he’s one of the few good men
left in the world, and my response may have
been a little hard, I said, “good for you lucky fella,”
unfortunately, he’s not my type,
and I refuse to settle.

Hi, My Name Is

I love, I care, I’m helpful, I’m kind
if I judge, I do it unconsciously. I cry
I laugh, I’m an emotional wreck,
and I’m okay with that being real
I misbehave sometimes. I do and say
foolish things all the time; I’m not great
at lying, and I love that about myself
but I’m superb at being myself
whether or not I realize it.

I appreciate my uniqueness though
sometimes I forget that being unique is
an excellent thing; I under-appreciate
many things, but I’m learning
to eat the food in front of me.

Loving myself ✅
Finding my happiness ✅
Singing in the shower ✅
Living my life like it’s golden ✅

I Won’t Impose

I’m not playing that mind game; I won’t be
the one to sit around and wait for you
to come to your senses; I’ll continue to live
my life as I should with my self-worth
still climbing the ladder. I won’t be
the second fiddle that you sit around
and string up to your liking at your own pace
only playing my tune when you are
left alone to think about the “what ifs.”