Finding You

Finding you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I’ve lost hope in you from time to time,
I’ve cursed at your very existence when I got angry
And didn’t know why you were here.

I’ve broken down into pieces of pie
When I didn’t think you’d make it.
Plenty of times I thought you were going crazy
And needed to be committed to a psychiatric ward.
You’ve always let drama and stress get the best of you,
No wonder you got so sad and depressed.

I thought you were going to do it,
“I thought you were going to kill yourself”
…there I said it!
You were on the brink of a suicidal death.
I didn’t know you’d last this long,
I thought you’d be out cold in a grave out back
But then again,
you’ve always been determined and strong.

Sometimes I thought I knew you
And you’d always let me down;
You’ve always let others define who you are,
And you’ve punked out
more times than you stood up for yourself.
It’s always been tough trying to keep you in one piece.
And it bothered me
that you were always so angry at yourself; at me.

Sometimes it was hard to watch you
Fall in and out of consciousness
trying to find your place in this world.
I’ve always been there for you
Through thick and thin ice.
Your hands I’ve always held in mines.

I’ve never left your side
Even when you didn’t want me around,
I stuck by your side ‘cause I knew you’d always need me.
No matter how much you kicked and screamed
No matter how many times you told me to go away
And never show my face again.

But this time was different; I knew it was time to go.
At least I needed to be gone
long enough for you to remember who you were.

And I’m glad I decided to leave.
You’re my best friend
and it was the best thing I could do, for you.
You needed a break;
you needed some time to regroup.

I’m so happy I left,
‘Cause you are right where you should be; at home.
You finally seem happy and content;
That’s what I’ve always wanted for you.

By far, losing you is the best thing
that has ever happened to me.
If not, I wouldn’t have been able
To find myself.

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