Almost Raped

Sometimes, I remember unpleasant things that
happened to me when I was younger.

I was a teenager
being targeted by an older married man.
I don’t know what he saw in me
but he wanted me to be his girl.
I remember when he said
he couldn’t wait until I turned 18 years old.

He had his ways with showing up
at my front door when no adults were around.
And even when they were around,
he’d come in the room I shared with others
as innocently as he could
to say hi was the excuse he told
and of course he was allowed to

but I was being cornered and felt up
by someone I looked up to at the time.

Rape seemed to always be on his mind.
He was a trusted friend and I
was an unwanted mistake
the day I stepped foot in a different world
so nothing I said or did
protected me from that monster.

Although, I was blessed not to be raped by him,
it almost happened a few times.
I was overpowered and had to think fast.
For years, he tried his best to rape me but never succeeded.
Thank goodness he did not.

I remember speaking up
about the ordeal a number of times,
trying to bring light to the situation but
no one seemed to believe
a word that came out of my mouth.

It was always dismissed just as quickly as it was brought up.
My family always made excuses for him.
They defended him instead of me.

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6 thoughts on “Almost Raped

  1. This could be fiction, but in case it’s not, all those other things he did are crimes, too. He’s a predator. I share your pain that children are not believed and predators are. You deserved to be protected. I hope your path of healing is a gentle one. Blessings, Brenda

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  2. This is so sad. It must affect the way you have often looked at life and other people. Without the Lord we would all see life in a messed-up way. We still often do, don’t we?

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  3. Such strong power from a young person! I am so glad she/he did not have to go through the terrible horrific crime of rape … It makes me sad and mad that so many children and young teenagers are not listened to by their family and/or the adults around them. And that there are some very sick monsters around us…

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  4. Obviously I can’t hit like on this post. What I can say as an older man is that I apologize on behalf of other people my age and gender that act in such horrible ways. Believe it or not there are many men and women in the world who will intervene if they become aware of the situation like that. As a lifetime social worker I am a mandated reporter but even in retirement I would immediately call the police and inform them of the situation and then gather a group of neighbors to see if anyone knew the individual well enough for an intervention. Monsters like that feed as much on Fears as they do on sex and once they’re outed they tend to disappear. I wish you the rest of your life free of abuse and filled with happiness.
    Alex

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  5. As a lifetime social worker unfortunately it’s a story I’ve heard too many times. I am terribly sorry you had this experience. Monsters like that individual feed on fear and desire to terrorize even more than they want sex.. There are many like myself for mandated reporters which means if they receive any information of a problem they are required by law to follow it up. Is the father of daughters I cannot imagine how families silence their children when things like this occur but I have heard of it happening so often I know this is true. I’m glad you can write about it it shows me that some of the darkness is lifting and you remain free. My heartfelt wishes that you never encounter abuse again in your life.
    Alex

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