Sometimes, I remember unpleasant things that
happened to me when I was younger.
I was a teenager
being targeted by an older married man.
I don’t know what he saw in me
but he wanted me to be his girl.
I remember when he said
he couldn’t wait until I turned 18 years old.
He had his ways with showing up
at my front door when no adults were around.
And even when they were around,
he’d come in the room I shared with others
as innocently as he could
to say hi was the excuse he told
and of course he was allowed to
but I was being cornered and felt up
by someone I looked up to at the time.
Rape seemed to always be on his mind.
He was a trusted friend and I
was an unwanted mistake
the day I stepped foot in a different world
so nothing I said or did
protected me from that monster.
Although, I was blessed not to be raped by him,
it almost happened a few times.
I was overpowered and had to think fast.
For years, he tried his best to rape me but never succeeded.
Thank goodness he did not.
I remember speaking up
about the ordeal a number of times,
trying to bring light to the situation but
no one seemed to believe
a word that came out of my mouth.
It was always dismissed just as quickly as it was brought up.
My family always made excuses for him.
They defended him instead of me.