In Need of Hope

I’m undeniably at the end of my rope
on the brink of having a nervous breakdown,
steady feeling sorry for myself
thinking suicide is the best route
for my temporary issues.

I need a friend time to sit down and think
about my next steps ready to leave it all up
to GOD because I’m fighting a losing battle
I don’t know how to calm my mind down
long enough to think past my sorrows.

Each day I cry my little heart out
lying around carrying the weight of the world
on my shrunken shoulders, I’m the undefeated
heavyweight champion of pain there are many
blessings in my life, but my eyes wide open
remain closed to my beautiful life
—young, fresh, and hungry.

In need of hope, love, and peace of mind, I need
to find my displaced self I live in fear of today,
but I’m still holding out for tomorrow, then I start
thinking negative; maybe I should die today
I’m stuck in an empty barrel; it’s just me
and my loneliness coexisting as one
trying-hard-to-be-happy little person.

Jesus says he loves me; I know,
and He forgives my abortion, I need
to stop beating myself up,
but it’s hard to forgive me.